Book Review: The Miracle Melon of Sir Francis Richard Burton

Miracles in the Storm: Talking to the Other Side with the New Technology of Spiritual Contact by Mark H. Macy (New American Library, 2001, ISBN 0-451-20471-9)

This book was written by Mark H. Macy, who is "a key figure in world Instrumental Transcommunication (ITC)--documenting the results of the most prolific receivers of ITC contacts, funding and organizing annual research seminars on both sides of the Atlantic, and opening the first enhanced ITC bridge in the States" (p.1). ITC is "the use of technology to get information directly from the worlds of spirit in the form of voices, images, and text"(p. ix). Macy and his colleagues have "worked alongside some of the most powerful forces of Light involved with our world, and they confronted various influences of negativity and darkness on both sides of the veil which nearly destroyed their valuable work"(p.1).

What is in this book: A first person account of the author's involvement with ITC research and his time spent with the International Network for Instrumental Transcommunication (INIT). He documents early ITC problems like "an impedance mismatch into that third transistor [....] that can be corrected by introducing a one-hundred-fifty-ohm, half-watt resistor in parallel with a point-double-oh-four-seven microfarad ceramic capacitor"(p. 16). Macy had wanted to publicize INIT's work on "a number of popular programs [in the United States] that handled spiritual subjects rather well, including "The Other Side," "Sightings," and "The Oprah Winfrey Show""(p.111), but "destructive forces generated by doubts, insecurities, fears, envy, resentment, and other negative feelings began to fester within INIT"(p.170). While he found INIT to be "like a luscious melon filled with rich, sweet miracles"(p.193), he was unsure whether those miracles would "be buried under the violence, pornography, and other debris of the times" (p.132).
It proved to be a rough time for Macy, who writes that "I suppose what saved our family was the fact that I could sense negative spirits in my life and in our home during that period. They were busy infesting us all, and I'd drawn them into our home with my chronic fears."(p.182)

What is not in book: Skepticism. "If I was skeptical," says Macy, "I would never have received any [paranormal] phone calls"(p.176). "When you believe something to be true, and you have the intent for it to happen, then that opens the doors to its happening. [...] One of the primary laws in the spirit worlds as well as on Earth is: Our thoughts and intentions create our reality."(p.176) This lack of skepticism did not impede his research because "the facilities that make ITC possible, and the energies that make it posible, are far beyond science. Science doesn't have the capability to really judge the validity of ITC yet"(p.178).

Would you recommend this book to MacGuyver? Are you kidding me? Machinery that contacts the dead? He built that in the second season using toothbrush bristles, chewing gum, a handful of paper clips, and half a pair of pants (the left half). This is nothing new to him.

Would you recommend this book to General H. Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr.? Stormin' Norman might have time to read this book since he's retired. Just because he can, that doesn't mean that he should. INIT studies have shown that the entities they contact "not only could read our minds, but could actually help shape them"(p.31). If you want to risk handing his specialized asskicking knowledge over to unknown forces from beyond, don't say I didn't warn you.

What is interesting about this book: Macy and his colleagues were provided with "images of exotic, kind, wise, and playful beings from other worlds [that] were planted on computer hard drives"(p.168) as well as a picture of a temple and a letter stating that "science fiction author Jules Verne had awakened in the temple after his death"(p.168). They also heard from "an African tribesman named Bwele M'Banga [who] sent a self-portrait and reported that his life on Earth had ended in the stomach of an African Lion"(p.169). One of the most active groups of correspondents called themselves the Timestream group, and included the explorer Sir Richard Francis Burton. As noted by author Michael Prescott, the timestream group's accounts of a world dominated by a single winding river mirrors the fictional novels written by Philip Jose Farmer. According to Prescott, Mark Macy does not have a problem with that.

Book Review: Whose Hand Is That?

Lifeprints: Deciphering Your Life Purpose from Your Fingerprints by Richard Unger (Crossing Press, 2007, ISBN: 978-1-58091-185-6)

This book was written by: Richard Unger, founder and director of the prestigious International Institute of Hand Analysis, which has spent more than 20 years internationally analyzing hands from their headquarters in the unlikely location of Marin, California. Mr. Unger also contributes to the institute's three publications, The Hand Analysis Journal, The Graduate Review, and The Hand Analysis Newsletter.

What is in this book: An unmatched descriptive flair. "Like a treasure map torn in two, neither half having the full picture, your soul-psychology map has two components that must be viewed together for its message to become clear." (p.7). This book will help you read that map, which has been encoded in your fingerprints. You have enrolled in "Earth University," "to better understand the shadow aspect of your soul psychology, your weak backhand in the Wimbledon of Life"(p.7). Your fingerprints are the course list.

What is not in this book: A tired retread of old superstitions. Yes, there is some ancient folklore involved, but the book's techniques also employ Science. "Dermatoglyphics and palmistry both derive from comparative hand topography. [...] One employs the scientific method, the other is based on folklore and thousands of years of anecdotal experience. One is high tech, the other, ancient wisdom. [...] they were made for each other"(p.xv).

Would you recommend this book to prisoners? Yes, for two reasons. First, "living a leadership life purpose can occur in any number of ways: [like] a prison philosopher holding court in C block" (p.4). Second, having the lowest ranking prints on your left index finger (or both index fingers and left little finger) mean that "sexual violation will work its way into your life sooner or later, one way or another. Nothing can be done to keep this from happening" (p.195). Prisoners with these types of prints will want to take steps in advance to minimize their discomfort.

Would you recommend this book to the Rand McNally corporation? I don't think that they'd be too wild about it. While your "fingerprints form a topographical map prior to birth, a map that will remain unaltered throughout life,"(p.xv, emphasis from the author) I'm fairly certain that Rand McNally would find little or no profit in marketing said maps. The would probably also balk at trafficking in human skin.

What was interesting about this book? Only a small percentage of the text deals with recognizing different hand types. The remaining pages show what people can expect from the different school/life purpose/life lesson combinations, and are fleshed out with the handprint readings of famous historical figures. For example, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s hand shape "is a cross between that of a philosopher and a Hollywood starlet"(p.202).

Book Review: Six-Figure Salaries Are the New Black

Secrets of Six-Figure Women by Barbara Stanny (HarperBusiness, 2002, ISBN 0-06-093346-1)

This book was written by: Barbara Stanny, a journalist, motivational speaker, and financial educator who is uniquely qualified to tell the world about women who have fought their way up through the glass ceiling to earn six-figure salaries. "Raised in a wealthy family," she writes, "married to a stockbroker, given a trust fund when I turned twenty-one, I never gave money a lot of thought. I always worked hard but never earned much, and it didn't matter" (p.48).

What is in this book: Plenty of lists, like the 8 secrets of six-figure women(p.42), their 4 must-haves (p.78), their 3 big helpers (p.79), and the nine traits of underearning (p. 52). Ms. Stanny has provided these lists along with anecdotes from and discussions with her six-figure friends to show how "underearners unwittingly throw banana peels in their own path in all sorts of ways, like applying for work they're not qualified for,"(p.61) when they actually need to exhibit more audacity, since every six-figure woman she interviewed "came to a point where she had to step outside her comfort zone and do something she wasn't completely sure she could do" (p.79).

What is not in this book: A call for women to sit down and be quiet. While "women don't understand power," (p.237) Stanny feels that "a woman afraid of her power is like an eagle afraid of its wings" (p.235). "I truly believe that when enough women claim their power, collectively we'll have the resources, values, vision, and sensitivity to change the world, to heal the planet" (p. 254).

Would you recommend this book to a professional wrestler? No, I would recommend that a professional wrestler try to convince Ric Flair to write Secrets of the Figure Four Leg Lock, because I would totally read the hell out of that book.

Would you recommend this book to Calista Flockhart? Yes, but she'd probably only read it if she thought it was about the secrets of stick figure women.

What was interesting about this book? Stanny writes that her assistant, "Juliette, doubled her salary soon after she picked up my book" (p. xvi). Happily, I was also able to double my yearly earnings almost immediately after reading this book; I was able to claim the recycling deposit on some cans I found in my living room car.

Book Review: I'll love "Is"

The Isle of Is: A Guide to Awakening by Caroline Cottom and Thom Cronkhite (The Center Within, 2006, ISBN 978-982-98004-1-1)

This book was written by: Thom Cronkhite, who is a "medical intuitive and vibrational energy healer. [....] Apparently born "awakened," he experiences life as constant joy and peace, fully in the present"(p.189). His co-author, Caroline Cottom is the "published author of numerous articles, essays, short stories, and poetry,"(p.190). This book will no doubt be of interest to all of the readers that have been avidly tracking her career since her time spent as former director of the Nuclear Weapons Freeze Campaign and the U.S. Comprehensive Test Ban Coalition made her a household name.

What is in this book: A heaping pile of metaphor, fat stacks of allegory, and dripping puddles of symbolism. This book seeks to take "wisdom that humans have known about for a very long time," (p.9) and to present in the story of a journey that will assist the reader in "uncovering that state of being where peace and joy already exist, throughout time and space" (p.10). The journey involves a boat, a swamp, a mountain, and some talking gnomes.
This book also contains a series of writing exercises. The narrator is given a pen (which "shall be your Wand") and an inkwell (signifying "The Well, which is the silence within") on page 16. The reader is instructed to "take the Wand" or "go to the Well" at various times to answer questions like:

"What is one thing in your life that you can't imagine being grateful for?" (p.35)
"What distractions do I use when I don't wish to feel my feelings. And what feelings am I hoping not to feel?" (p.106)
"What stories, songs, fairytales, or movies did you resonate with as a young person?" (p.127)

Since these tools have been given to the reader metaphorically, the writing exercises can also be done metaphorically, which saves a lot of time. (However, for those keeping score at home, the correct answers in no particular order are: gout, arson/jealousy, and Hudson Hawk.)

What is not in this book? Conceit. "The narrator refers to him or herself as "we" because the word "I" solidifies the ego, whereas the word "we" removes us from the egoic bond"(p.181). It is a bold move that could have alienated the reader and ended up sounding like a schizophrenic quoting Faulkner on a bad day, but has been completely vindicated by passages like "We are wearing the captain's hat, and Is-is sits on our shoulder!" (p.176).

Would you recommend this book to Steven Seagal? Yes, he can use a break from the isle of has-been.

Would you recommend this book to Pathmark customers? No. They already know that to "Go fresh, go local," they should search the aisles, not the isles.

What was interesting about this book? The book comes with an audio version on CD, which is perfect for people who want to awaken themselves so that they can live in a place where they no longer value their material possessions and the crude distractions of popular entertainment.

Book Review: Don't Say Stress

The 14 Day Stress Cure: A New Approach for Dealing with Stress that Can Change Your Life by Mort Orman, MD (Breakthru Publishing, 1991, ISBN 0-942540-06-9)

This book was written by: Morton C. Orman, M.D., an internist who has completed a two-year post-doctoral training program in Contextual Therapy.

What is in this book: Stress management from a biolinguistic perspective. This book talks about stress stemming from "a false understanding of ourselves as human beings, which arises from inaccurate mind-body theories that are no longer accepted by twentieth century thinkers"(p.36). That is because "according to Biolinguistics, human beings do not consist of "a mind and a body,"" and "the basic error of all mind-body thoeries is that they assume a separate "mental" domain inside human beings which doesn't really exist" (p.38). Dr. Orman's book is timely because "while a growing number of scholars, scientists, psychotherapists, and other health professionals have recently embraced this biolinguistic perspective, most stress experts today are completely unaware of its existence" (p.xvii).

What is not in this book: A detailed explanation of biolinguistics, since "an in-depth discussion of biolinguistics is beyond the scope of this book"(p.39). Furthermore, "even though this book is titled The 14 Day Stress Cure, it is not a "quick-fix" remedy for the problem of human stress" (p.xix).

Would you recommend this book to Daniel Day-Lewis, Dennis Day, Doris Day, Frances Day, Francis Day, Graham Day, Hap Day, Howie Day, Laraine Day, Robin Day, Ryan Day, Sandra Day O'Connor, Stockwell Day, and William R. Day? Even if we could warp the very fabric of space and time to bring all 14 of them together in one place, I don't think that they'd be interested in collectively developing their own cure for stress as a counterproposal.

Would you recommend this book to the attorney general of the United States? Yes. It is essential that we stay current with the latest stress-management techniques, so that our stress positions are able to counter them. Otherwise, the terrorists have won.

What was interesting about this book? People who suffer from stress are likely to feel trapped in an endless cycle of torment despite their best stress-management efforts. After all, "Challenging your internal conversations is similar to playing the Space Invaders video game. [...] No matter how many times you destroy these relentless invaders, they keep reappearing"(p.107). Dr. Orman has successfully re-framed the conflict with stress in a way that will soothe the fears of these individuals while using terms that are easy for them to understand. "This book is about winning against stress"(p.v). Also, "when you know how to use the coping method outlined in this book, you not only "win" by getting rid of your stress, but you also "win" by improving your mastery and competence in life as well"(p.xv). Furthermore, "every time you choose this road you become a double winner in your fight against stress"(p.256). So if you can't use the coping method outlined in this book, then you are clearly a loser.

Book Review: Stop Drinking Water

Water Can Undermine Your Health! by Norman W. Walker, Doctor of Science (1974, Norwalk Press, ISBN 8-89019-037-2)

This book was written by: Dr. Norman Walker, Doctor of Science, whose healthy lifestyle has kept him alive to the ages of 113, 118 , 120, and even 130, despite claims to the contrary made by some site that's a big fan of invasive popups. Alleged "evidence" of his death at age 99, citing the U.S. Social Security Death Index and a grave marker, is inconclusive at best.

What is in this book: Things you didn't know about the fluids you put in your mouth, like "what EVIL lurks in a keg of BEER" (p.33) and "the deadly CHLORINE" (p.59). Dr. Walker couches his sound, scientific advice in clear, no-nonsense terms, like his warning that "Sea Water is not, under any circumstances, intended to be used for drinking purposes," (p.41) although you can use it for drinking purposes "in fractional amounts, at the rate of 4 to 8 drops of ocean water to the glass or pint of whatever beverage you plan to drink" (p.41).

What is not in this book: An incitement to cannibalism. While Dr. Walker states that "Malnutrition results from feeding the body food which has been heated or processed to such a degree that the life of the atoms and molecules composing such food is extinct,"(p.vii) and that "dead atoms and dead molecules cannot rejuvenate nor regenerate the cells in the body,"(p.vii) he does not advocate tearing into the living flesh of your enemies. Instead, he suggests eating "live" vegetables, like some kind of sissy.

Would you recommend this book to Jenna Jameson? No. Ms. Jameson does not seem to be overly concerned with the issue of purity.

Would you recommend this book to Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper? No. While I am profoundly convinced that Dr. Walker and General Ripper speak the same language, Dr. Walker advocates the drinking of neither rainwater nor grain alcohol.

What was interesting about this book? Dr. Walker is also the inventor of the Norwalk Juicer. His publisher has written a eulogy for him that has been published in series of 7 posts on the Norwalk Juicing Community Forum.