Just ADD Romance

A.D.D. & Romance: Finding Fulfillment in Love, Sex, & Relationships by Jonathan Scott Halverstadt, MS (Taylor Publishing Company, 1998, ISBN 0-87833-209-X)

This book was written by: Jonathan Scott Halverstadt, MS, who states that “before I turned thirty […] I had already written my first book, earned my private pilot’s license, worked as a network announcer for NBC and CBS TV, been a ski instructor, written and produced award-winning advertising campaigns, performed in thousands of radio and TV commercials, been an executive editor of a magazine published in five languages, and had a re-occurring role on General Hospital”(p.2). Yes, he’s that Jonathan Scott Halverstadt, MS.

What is in this book: Sex tips for the short attention span. ADD is more than “the little girl who’s great on the soccer field – but has trouble with her schoolwork, talks constantly in class, and can’t seem to stop herself from sassing her teacher” (p.13). With adult ADD, “you often get someone who doesn’t follow through with commitments, gets bored with their mate, gets stuck in their thinking, and is disorganized, forgetful, routinely late, and argumentative”(p. 41-42). Halverstadt has advice for all aspects of their relationships, including “make love someplace new in the house, or somewhere outside. Of course, you’ll want to use caution so as not to offend or embarrass someone else. But there are plenty of open spaces out there”(p.160).

What is not in this book: A way to diagnose yourself as afflicted with ADD. “In order for there to be an actual diagnosis, you need to be evaluated by a clinician who can make such a diagnosis: a physician (M.D.), a psychiatrist (M.D.), a psychologist (Ph.D.), a licensed marriage and family counselor (L.M.F.C.C.), or a licensed clinical social worker (L.C.S.W.). These are the professionals who have the credentials to diagnose,”(p.43) unlike the author.

Would you recommend this book to a romantic? Yes, if only because of the “Fifty Ways to Keep Your Lover” section at the back of the book, which includes tips like “tell your lover a bedtime story [….] If you’ve got a lot of courage, act out the story as a play at the foot of the bed with you as the only actor,” and “together, volunteer to serve a Thanksgiving day meal at the local homeless shelter”(p.229).

Would you recommend this book to someone with ADD? They will find this book more interesting than a seminar on the fluctuating GDP of Aegean nations but less interesting than that website where you can watch videos of bugs fighting each other, which is funny because some of those bugs seem totally focused while other bugs get distracted much more easily, just like people with ADD, so all those reports about medication ending up back in the ocean via water treatment plants and getting absorbed into fish might end up being beneficial for the environment after all, since it seems like there are creatures at all levels of sentience that can use a little extra help maintaining their focus to be more productive–of course, while they could all use the medication, they might not all be able to read this book.

What was interesting about this book? “People with ADD have been among the most creative people in the history of humankind,”(p.168) “people with ADD can be extremely warm-hearted and empathetic beyond belief,”(p.170) “and “they’ve learned how to quickly figure out what other people are thinking or doing and what they need to do to take care of themselves”(p.171). The author can testify to the presence of these traits firsthand, because he has been diagnosed with ADD.