June 11, 2010

Dueserpenti Review: I Was Dreaming When I Wrote This, So Sue Me if I Go Too Fast

The following review was written by guest writer dueserpenti, freelance smartass.

Nostradamus 1999

This book was written by: Stephan Paulus, retired martial arts instructor, self-described Nostradamus hobbyist, and “the only author to explore the link between the prophesies and a battle-by-battle vision of World War III [, ...] connect Nostradamus' prophesies with Islamic end-time prophesies [, ...and] with prophesies from the Book of Revelation” (So sayeth the back flap). His other hobbies include organic gardening, aerobics, and home improvement.

What is in this book: Bad news. According to Nostradamus, a comet is going to hit the Earth in July of 1999. As if that wasn't bad enough, out of the ashes rises a pan-Islamic state led by the Madhi, The Antichrist, the Muslim Jesus, (yes, these are all separate people) and two Nostradamus bonus characters, the Man in the Blue Turban and the Man in the White Turban. Naturally, they're bent on world domination, but finally get defeated by a coalition of American, British, French, Russian, and Swiss forces after twenty-seven years of hard fighting. Having won the day for democracy, they appoint a Frenchman to be king of the world. At least Henry V ends up ruling the Earth with justice and wisdom for many years, establishing a dynasty that continues into the 22nd century and possibly beyond, although it's hard to be specific after that.

Mind you, it's no picnic before then, either. It's a good thing we have the expert guidance of Mr. Paulus to lead us through it. We probably could have guessed that “The year 1999, the seventh month,” (Century 10, Quatrain 72) in Nostradamus' work “should be interpreted [... as] the seventh month of the year 1999” (3). But when another quatrain refers to worldwide “plague, famine and death” (1:16) between the years 1994 and 1996, “That was close enough [...] that it may apply” (82).

Likewise, only Stephan Paulus knows how the Antichrist can simultaneously be from Russia (101), China (106), and Turkey (108). Nor is he afraid to challenge conventional wisdom in his field. While most Nostradamus scholars believe that mentions of “Libra” refer to the constellation of the same name, Paulus argues that “Libra can only be the United States. Libra is pictured [...] holding a scale [...] The same symbol is found [...] outside the Supreme Court building in Washington, D.C. Second, the Latin word for liberty is 'Libertas.' [...] Nostradamus uses the word 'Libra' here as an anagram [sic] of the Latin 'Libertas.' [....] the Statue of Liberty [...] was a gift from the French people” (217-18).

What is not in this book: Any confidence whatsoever in the prophesies of Nostradamus. Having spent 250 pages constructing a truly exhaustive history of the 21st century, the author includes an appendix in which he admits that, of those prophesies which have already passed their expiration date, “Nostradamus' final accuracy rate for his dated quatrains is one-and-a-half for seven, slightly over 21%” (256). Believe me, that number is more than generous. So is the conclusion he takes from it: “Nostradamus was wrong more often than he was right. Still, he was right at least part of the time [...] it probably will not occur, but what if it does? [...] There is simply too much to lose to assume he was wrong” (257).

Would you recommend this Book to Prince? No. He would be heartbroken to learn that in the future there is only one Prince. His name is Ogmios, son of Henry V, and he will ascend to the throne upon his father's death to rule with justice and wisdom (247).

Would you recommend this Book to a Meteorologist? Yes. Forecasting five centuries in advance is undoubtedly harder than five days, but that 21% success rate has still got to make the average weatherman feel pretty good about his own accuracy.

What is interesting about this book: The author's stoic resignation about the future, whatever it may hold. As he says in his final Author's Note, “Whether I am right or wrong, we are all going to die anyway, within a few short decades at most” (268). Now that's prophesy you can believe in.

Nostradamus 1999 by Stephan Paulus (Llewellyn Publications, 1996, ISBN: 978-1567185157)

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Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that this blog isn't on hiatus any more. Let's see some more books reviewed.

Bitterly Books said...

Thanks! There's going to be a new update on Friday.

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