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Chapter 3 ups the apocalyptic tension right off the bat, with demands from the Cosby/Newman Judeo-Christian clique to "resurrect dead money," which is "like a stagnant pool breeding mosquitoes." (66) (“They will throw their silver into the streets, and their gold will be an unclean thing. Their silver and gold will not be able to save them in the day of the LORD's wrath. They will not satisfy their hunger or fill their stomachs with it, for it has made them stumble into sin.” -Ezekiel 7:19) Talk is broached of bringing in a war god- "Should we consider bringing a military man into our deliberations?" asks Perot. Buffett-Zeus replies "Someone like Anthony Zinni would be perfect." (67-68). Buffett, unsatisfied with the group's reported progress, Redirects everyone's timai into the aforementioned new list. Appropriately, the new priorities revolve around increasing the worship of billionaires: they will tear down the government, so the people have nowhere else to turn; they will found numerous cults to their benevolent (or malevolent) power; and they will of course care for those subjects who heed their intonations.
Soros-Thoth seizes the initiative in this regard, building a massive temple in the nation's capitol to his new cult, the CUB. He prudently selects a hotel with sleeping and bathing facilities for his loyal acolytes, and requires a modest sacrifice of $50 a year from worshipers. (Note: while I am nothing but impressed with Soros' efforts so far, I will be carefully watching for signs that he may in fact be L. Ron Hubbard)
This temple will accompany the labors of Rapoport-Osiris, who has apparently been Redirected from his interest in young schoolchildren by Newman’s Christian appeals. Instead, he sets to populating this newly-founded cult, hiring “two hundred full-time organizers” to send “to each congressional district...to find two thousand voters in each congressional district serious about establishing a Congress Watchdog Group.” (82) (“Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.” -Matthew 10:11-16)
Rapoport also establishes a $2 billion fund, to “be administered by twelve trustees in a fair-market value “no-strings” bribe for “each incumbent.” (84) The plan is shrewd: what better way to topple the government than to lure it into prosecuting itself en masse? The plan dovetails nicely with the efforts of Gates-Caesar and Jamail-Themis to goad the nation into suing itself into oblivion. Rounding out this subversive plot is Buffett, who recruits youths to infiltrate Capitol Hill and summons elders who have retired from Congress, presumably as lieutenants in the infiltration scheme.
Diller-Marduk continues his terrifying seizure of the nation’s entire telecommunications infrastructure, “through the magic of leveraged buyouts. He had a law firm that spit them out like extruded plastic,” (84) a clear reference Marduk’s preparation to defeat Tiamat, in which “in his lips he holds a spell.” So also Diller prepares for “the big boys, with their Madison Avenue skillsters and their endless treasuries.” (85) Small wonder Nader calls him a “bone crushing, mercurial boss.” (84)
Yet even Diller succumbs to the trickster wiles of Turner-Loki, who goads Diller into calling Warren Beatty, our first Hero of the story. Diller informs Beatty that he has a “script” for him, “but not the kind of script you mean.” (“Marduk took the tablets of destiny from Kingu and placed them on his own chest to proclaim his power over the gods”, yet Turner can still talk him out of them) The platform they propose to Beatty is equally sneaky: a hostile takeover of the entire state of California by billionaires. (“You are going to donate what the tax cut awarded you to the public treasury, and you want them to do the same as part of the reverse revolt of the rich.") (86)
I should note that I read about Beatty’s entrance onto the campaign trail with interest, hoping for a retelling of Brutus. Alas, Warren Beatty is entirely realistic. Turner follows up with another massive practical joke, the aforementioned “Aztec-type festivals devoted to the Sun God. Without the human sacrifice, of course.” (98) Price-Epimethues takes issues with this last bit, saying he has “a few candidates in mind” for nextlaualli. His chronic lethargy may well be due to insufficient exsanguination.
A half-joking hunger for human blood and internal organs is not the only way Price continues to underwhelm and disappoint. We also learn that Price accidentally created evil with his zipper problem. In chapter one he was “once called the father of the retail model later imitated by Sam’s Club, prompting him to reply, ‘I wish I’d worn a condom’.” (17) Now we learn that Wal-Mart is the ultimate evil, Dortwist merely being a lieutenant or herald. Small wonder the group jumps without segue or transition from a debate over the conflict between federal power and grassroots activism to declaring that Wal-Mart delendum est. Wal-Mart creates conflict, as lord of the material world and everyday low prices. Once again Price lives up to his ignominious heritage, having forgotten to do anything pleasant for mankind and bringing Pandora to the world.
Ono-Uzume continues her dream-state prognostication-persuasion. Her very movement from place to place is surreal: she is “unusually quiet during the conference call” after which she “headed straight for the airport”- but it is unknown where this happens, a notable departure from Nader’s meticulous catalogue of which airport each god-mogul uses. Rather, Ono is summoned by the conference call, and appears when agitated at human ports. In this chapter Ono discovers that words are power, solving a debate over what the new “jolt” should be by simply saying “hemp.” (96) Her discovery leads her to abandon her previously successful graphic artistry, declaring that “the word ‘posterity’ isn’t used anymore as it was...by our eighteenth century forebears” and that the “subtlety of modern art is of little use here.” (99-100)
As we close this chapter, it bears reflection on Nader’s specific actions around this book, for example dedicating it to the god-moguls within and contacting the god-moguls’ real-life personalities to tell them about it. It is clear that Diviciacus-Nader has written a blueprint for billionaires to attract (and compel) worship by the inhabitants of the largest economy in the world. Sensing that this will be our salvation, he has set to attracting the gods to his plan, with flattery and promises of delicious sacrifice. We await the coming chapter-prophecies with fascination and trepidation.
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